Gored in the name of toys

It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to post, but it feels good to finally get something down. Our closest internet connection in broken so it has been difficult to find the time. I’m hopeful that it will be up and working sometime this week, in which case, I’ll be back up to my usual posting frequency.

The other day, on what I’m told was actually “Iraqi Freedom Day,” we went on a patrol which included a nearby village. We all really like visiting this particular place because the people that live their always greet us as if we’re a parade of astronauts or something. All the women and children rush out of their houses and stand on the sides of the road smiling and waving (and of course, begging for candy and toys). At this point, with the help of quite a few of you, I’ve amassed an immense stockpile of goodies for the children. I’ve got it all sorted out and organized based on various themes. Hair accessories for the girls in this box, various hygiene products in that box, etc. I bring out different combinations of goodies depending on my mood. Every now and then I’ll put the candy away for a few days and pass out nothing but tooth brushes and tooth paste, seeking redemption for all of the hyperactive, cavity filled kids I’ve created. On this particular day I decided to bring a giant bag of beanie babies with me. I’d given out a few of them a month earlier to a small group of kids and they seemed to love them, so I imagined that giving them out en mass would be even more fun.

When we arrived in the village the women and children began spilling into the streets as usual. The women waved and smiled coyly, while the kids ran beside our vehicles hoping for a treat. Once we stopped the Humvee and established 360 security, I got out along with my giant bag of stuffed animals. Seeing the bag, the kids immediately rushed over and encircled me, screaming in excitement. It was all I could do to keep them all from grapping the whole sack and taking off with it. I had to hold the toys over my head to keep them from being taken and pass them out one at a time. The taller kids jumped and grabbed until they could pry a few out of the bag over my head. It became a frenzy. By the time the last animal was handed out I was exhausted. All the other guys thought it was hilarious. If I hadn’t been wearing body armor I have no doubt that I’d have bled to death from the wounds inflicted by hundreds of tiny fingernails. It made for great video though. When watching the replay it looks like I’m crowd surfing on a giant crowd of children.

Before we visit that village again I think I need to polish up on my Arabic. It might be nice to know how to say “One at a time,” or “Everybody in line,” before we cause the next prepubescent riot.

While on the topic, I’d like to thank family and friends for sending so may great things, both for myself and fellow soldiers, and for these children. It is hard to accurately describe how happy your efforts make these kids and how much we enjoy making them smile. It is more than just handing out candy and toys, it’s building a positive relationship with these communities. Thank you all.